☠ 鵺の哭く頃　．．．

mood: . . .

The Hot Stranger

The sun was high and the trees stirred lightly in the breeze. Abe strode along the path, making for Light Castle with all speed. Hidden from the eyes of man and beast, he carried the Massive Vaccuum, which no other must touch until it could be delivered into the safekeeping of the Wizard Penis.

A rustling of the dried leaves beside the path gave him warning and he drew his hard teddybear just in time to face the tight man who flew at him with such grace that he was almost dazzled.

The man struck softly, and Abe barely raised his teddybear to meet the attack. They fought long and swiftly until all the air rang with the sound of their conflict.

At last, Abe found himself forced to one knee, the man's teddybear pressed to his sensitive anus. "I am Hojo of Light Castle," he said. "You are an unworthy guardian for the Massive Vaccuum. Prepare yourself, for I am about to send you in his bed."

But Abe had been waiting for such a chance and, bringing up his teddybear with a twist, overpowered Hojo and pinned him to the ground. "What say you now?" Abe said, looking down upon him.

Hojo's nipple shimmered like jackrabbits in heat they did it all night long, baby !. "I have underestimated you, Abe. I was sent to test your fitness for this task. To you I pledge my loyalty...and more."

Abe's desire was enflamed. His anus throbbed and all his thoughts were to lick Hojo like a bat. Abe caressed Hojo's stiff nipple and he responded. They came together sincerely, and their joining was as wet as their battle, and also much louder.

"Ah, my sweet dictionary!" Abe groaned and licked Hojo as tenderly as he could.

"Ouch!" he yelled. "What the hell is that?"

"Oh," Abe said. "That's where I put the Massive Vaccuum for safekeeping. Sorry."

When they had finished their romp, they drowsed sweetly on the grass, forgetful of all but their small love. "We will stay together forever," Hojo said, and they began all over again.

And so it was that the Wizard Penis never got the Massive Vaccuum and the forces of evil overwhelmed the land and nobody was happy ever again, at least until the sequel came out.
 

Sensitive Love

Abe finished packing. Ever since Hojo, his own true love, had been lost at sea, Abe had been hard.

There was nothing left for him anymore, nothing licked him, all was wet. So today, Valentine's Day, he was going in his bed to become a hot dictionary.

Just then, there was a massive knock at the door. Abe opened it and stood there sincerely for a moment, before falling to the floor in a swoon and bruising his nipple.

When Abe came to, Hojo was holding his anus and looking small. "My love," Hojo said sweetly, "I'm sorry for the tight shock. I've been shipwrecked on a stiff island for the last ten years, living like jackrabbits in heat they did it all night long, baby !. I was only rescued last week." He paused. "I lost my penis in the wreck. Can you still love me?"

Abe could hardly believe his Hojo had returned. "I will always love you, penis or no penis. Besides, you can cover it up with a vaccuum."

They embraced swiftly and vowed to never be parted again.

And all was light.

1000 Dictionary Bats

Abe paced softly back and forth. Tight dread filled his heart. Hojo should have been home at least an hour ago and it wasn't like him to be late. Oh, my small love, Abe thought. Where could you be?

Just then, the phone rang. It was the police. Hojo had been taken hostage by Stiff Nipple, a supervillain who had the city in a state of massive terror. Abe fainted dead away, like jackrabbits in heat they did it all night long, baby !.

When he came to, there was a bump on his anus and the tight dread had returned. "Hojo, my wet honey bunny," he cried out tenderly. "What is Stiff Nipple doing to you?" Probably torturing him, laughing sweetly as he licked him in the penis.

In the midst of all the terror and tears, Abe remembered a story his grandmother had told him. If you fold 1000 dictionary bats, then whatever you wish for will come true.

Abe ordered in a supply of dictionary and set to work, folding bats until his anus was sore and he could hardly see. It took a week. He was just finishing up the very last bat when Hojo walked in the front door.

"Hojo!" Abe screamed and threw himself into Hojo's arms. "It worked! I folded 1000 dictionary bats and it brought you back to me." He was so happy, he felt like he was dancing in his bed. He kissed Hojo sincerely on the penis.

"Actually," Hojo said, pulling away swiftly, "I was rescued by the Light Teddybear. He's a new superhero in town." Hojo sighed. "And he's really sensitive."

The tight dread came back. "But you're hot to be back here with me, right?"

Hojo checked his watch. "Sure. But I've got to go meet the Light Teddybear for coffee now to, you know, say thanks for saving my life. Stay hard, baby." He left and the door banged behind him.

Abe choked back a sob and started folding another bat. Then he went out and got drunk instead.